Why Me?
by FionnualaC24
Summary: Bella Swan; The golden girl of Forks High. Jacob Black; The school's looser. Bella's life is forever changed after the accident that took away her mother. Angry at Jacob for killing her mother, she is determined to make his life a living hell. Will her hunger for revenge take over or will she finally learn to forgive and heal? - AH fanfic, strong language, mature themes.


I woke up from the sound of the radio blasting in my ear. It was playing _Wake me Up Before You Go Go._ I groaned in annoyance, burying my face in the pillow. Seriously who played that music anymore? It was only 6:30 in the morning and I honestly wondered how anyone could function waking up this early. The music kept on playing and seemed to be getting louder and even more annoying. Was that even possible? I would've just turned it off and went back to sleep if it were any other day. But today wasn't any other day. Today was the day I had been dreading all summer. Today was the first day of school. The first day at school since the accident.

Three months had passed and I could still hear the screams and cries. I shook my head, ridding myself of the thoughts. I wouldn't let that get to me today. My father had offered to let me take the day off but I declined. I had really wanted to just get today over with. I didn't want to give anyone a reason to start rumors. Though now, I am really wishing I took up on his offer.

I got out of bed and took a shower. I couldn't help but trace the scars on my arm. The drops of water reminded me of the blood that ran down my body. The warm sticky wet feeling. I shuddered in disgust and abruptly stopped the shower. I wouldn't let myself cry today. If I started crying now I wouldn't be able stop.

 _Suck it up._ I told myself. I couldn't let myself fall apart again.

The mirror was foggy and I started at my reflection. My long brown hair stuck to my face from the water and I looked tired. Not just from the lack of sleep but from life. My brown eyes that used to shine with happiness were now dull and filled with pain. I had to look away. I couldn't stand to see myself. It was bad enough I had to endure the pitying looks of neighbors and residents of Forks but did I have to view myself in the same way?

It just wasn't fair. Why did this have to happen to me? Why my family? My life had been perfect. Now it was anything but. I had two perfect parents but now it was just me and my father. Actually it was basically just me. He has thrown himself into his work so much that I barely ever saw him. Sometimes I think he has forgotten about me. I only know he hasn't when he has to go on his business trips and leaves me a credit card to take care of myself. Like right now. I know he thinks I should have died. There is no mistaking that. Sometimes I wish I did die that night.

I notice the time. _Shit._ it's already 7:10. I'm going to be late. I get dressed and do my makeup. I let the curls in my hair fall loosely down my back as I hastily check myself over in the mirror. I look perfect, as usual. I grab my bag and head out the door. I drove my beat up red pick up truck to school. I don't have time to get breakfast.

I finally reach the school and pull into the lot. I can feel everyone looking at me. But not in the way they used to. Before the accident I was Isabella Swan. The golden girl. The popular girl. The girl you should love and fear. Don't get me wrong; I still am but it's different now. Everyone thinks I am broken and that i'm incapable of healing and I guess in a way they are right but I won't let them know that. Before the accident I was a stone cold bitch who didn't take shit from anyone. Everyone was afraid yet they wanted to be my friend. Now I am even worse and they should be terrified.

A car suddenly pulls up next to me catching my attention. I would recognize that silver volvo anywhere. It belonged to no other than Edward Cullen; my boyfriend. I watch as he climbs out of the car and slams the door shut. His bronze hair is tousled to the side and his emerald eyes sparkled as usual. All eyes are on him. He was not only the most popular guy in school but the most handsome. All the guys wanted to be him and all the girls wanted to be with him. The girls were desperate. No matter how hard they tried it was never enough. I was his and he was mine. They better get it through their dumb heads. I hop out of the car only to be greeted by than Edward.

"Hey love." He says as he kissed my forehead. These were the times when I felt completely normal. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I smile up at and he looks down at me with knowing eyes. Edward is one of the small group of people I have let in. He knows me better than I know myself. He can see when I am in pain and when I have reached my limit for the day. And after the accident he was there for me everyday. In the beginning when I felt like giving up he was there to save me. I am forever grateful to him for that.

"Are you ready for today? You can still leave you know. I can come with you." His soft voice said. I knew he was concerned about me. I had refused counselling and like usual just bottled all my emotions up. He knew this was a recipe for disaster.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Let's just get today over with." I said emotionless. He sighed as we walked in the school.

People all around moved out of our way as we strided down the halls. The whispers started and people stared. Some were debating whether to come up to me or not but I think my glares said enough. Edward put his arm around my waist calming me down. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't snap today.

"Bella!" A high pitched voice screamed. I instantly smiled, knowing who that was.

I turned around and was met by the face of Alice Brandon. My smile widened across my face and I instantly felt in a better mood. She pushed Edward aside and pulled me in for a hug.

"Hello to you to Alice." He said. He acted annoyed but I could hear the humor in his voice. You could never be angry with Alice. It was impossible too. Her spiky black hair and tiny frame reminded us of a pixie. Therefore that's where the nickname came from. But don't underestimate her, she was as strong as a giant and if you made her angry, you should run. You were in some deep shit. She was our pixie though and nothing could change that.

"Hello Edward. You should know it is not nice to hog her like this. Ever hear of personal space?" Alice replied with an annoyed voice. I interrupted before a full fight broke out.

"Come on guys. Let's not do this now. We should head to class." I said. They both looked at me and sighed in defeat. They knew I couldn't take an argument today.

"Ok, fine I'll see you guys with the rest of the group at lunch." I nodded to her and she came up for another hug.

"Try to have a good day today? Please for me?" Alice whispered in my ear.

"Fine. I'll try. No guarantees though." I joked. She pulled away and smiled at me before dancing away.

The rest of the morning was uneventful and it was the same thing in every class. Student's pitying stares and teachers apologizing for my loss. I was about ready punch someone in the face so it was a relief when lunch came.

I met Edward outside of English and we walked into the lunchroom like we owned the place. I wouldn't let anyone crush my mood today. Like usual Edward took my tray of food as I lead the way to our table in the quad. We sat across from Emmett- Edward's older brother- with his muscly arm wrapped around Rosalie- his girlfriend. Next to us was Alice who was leaning against Jasper- Her boyfriend and Rosalie's twin. I looked around everyone feeling content. These were my people.

We sat there talking about pointless stuff. It was awkward at first because no one wanted to accidently bring up anything related to accident or trigger a memory. I know they were just thinking of me but I was sick of it. Soon we were comfortable and enjoying ourselves but that didn't last long. Conversations around us stopped and a dead silence spread throughout the entire lunch room. We look around to see what everyone is looking at.

"Oh god." Rosalie whispers under her breath and shoots me a worried look.

Edward pulls me close to his side. I don't know who they are staring at until I see Jacob Black standing in the middle of the lunchroom searching for a table. His hands trembled with nervousness as people whispered and pointed.

I go to stand up but Edward holds me firmly down. I am overcome with rage. How can he have the nerve to show his face at this school? After what he did? After Jacob killed my mother!

I had promised myself and Alice I would keep it under control today but this was too much. He ruined my life and so now I would ruin his. I would make sure of it.

Jacob Black was the school's freak. He lived on the Native American reservation in La Push and was part of the tribe called the Quileute; they are supposedly descended from wolves. His father Billy had become depressed after becoming paralyzed in a car accident and out of anger killed his wife. That was two years ago. My father made the arrest and his father is now serving a 25 year sentence. Jacob lives with some older boys on the rez but ever since the incident he has never been normal. His very presence scares people and makes them shudder in disgust. Everyone knew that someday he would kill someone just like his father. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The court deemed the car crash an accident but I refused to believe that.

Jacob looks up at me and I sneer at him in disgust. I watch as his face pales and goes to run out of the room but not before being tripped. His lunch spills everywhere and all over him. The room fills with laughter as he leaves the room.

"That's what you get _dog._ " I hiss after him.


End file.
